Discovered something about myself.

I am participating in writing 101 this month, however I have been one of those lazy members who is not disciplined and timely with my assignments. It was time for my evening jog after a lazy day at home as I didn’t have much to do. Right before leaving for my jog, I saw my daily prompt from group which said today I had to visit a coffee shop or a park and observe the surrounding and write without using any adverb. Hence I took it as an opportunity as I was anyway about to jog in a park.
The moment I left my house, I started wondering what exactly would I have to write. And how does one avoid adverbs. I live in the south and its always sunny here. And now that summer is beginning we are seeing some hot and warm days .It’s time to pick the brightest and yellowest managoes. Everything is bright and in shades of yellow, even the flowers blooming in the park. I began to ponder how would I use a phrase without an adverb. I looked up at the sky, It was a pleasant day unlike the summer days as it surprisingly had rained leaving behind a breezy and calm weather. The sun was golden and the sky looked pale with clouds covering like some golden dust. When I looked up the first sentence popped on my head was “The sun is shinning brightly in a rustic gold colour and the weather is very pleasant” OMG… I said brightly and very pleasant…grrrr so I tried again removing the adverbs and emphasising on the nouns.
No sooner my mind was filled with thoughts and visuals. I jog here everyday but most of the things go unnoticed, however today I was all ears and eyed every tiny thing I spotted. It had rained this morning hence I have the connoisseur for mud, ironically my iPod played “mitti di khushboo ayeyi” (smell of your land)a current bollywood pop song. With a smile, I ran few meters then realised the weather was too good to be wasted. Hence I walked, enjoying every step.
I noticed kids playing cricket with all enthusiasm and their parents watching them and enjoying. I turned to hear some laughter, it was the regular bing bang ladies, walking and jogging to shed some pounds while discussing their daily chores. A group of old retired men sat on the benches having a gala time, it was as if they were dressed to walk/jog but more time was spent discussing matters and arguing over drinks. One person I never fail to notice everyday, was in his usual, running. Running like a lighting bolt, he is the fastest, I have seen. What surprises me is doesn’t he get tired or thirsty ?
These observations were revolving on my head again and again. I wanted to run home and jot down immediately, I wished I had carried a paper and pen to write below the tree where yellow flowers had fallen. I guess I captured enough to write this today. Do let me know your opinion…:)

Who influenced me…

I am sure most of you reading this blog are bloggers yourself or you simply enjoy writing. Hold back, think for a second why do you love writing or why did you start writing. Come on! There should be something that should have inspired you or someone who has motivated you. What’s your story?

Let me share mine.

I don’t catch cues in the first time. Everything in my life happens over a period of time. It all started when I was in college and we were asked to choose an elective course. I had my eyes on a media related course with accounting as my backup option(in case media was not available,seats get full). But its what god proposes, at the end which matters. I was late for my selection and hence I was given “journalism” as very few had chosen to study this.

To my suprise, this course brought the writer out of me. I enjoyed capturing my thoughts and story with words and painting them in my style. As a hobby, I had started writing articles on subjective topics occasionally. And slowly it reduced as I did not have an audience. It was 3 years later in my french class I met someone who inspired me to start writing and starting my own blog.:)

The same person has been my inspiration this year. Had I not met him, I wouldn’t have started this blog “cooking life”. And only I know how much I have grown with this blog and with all your opinions.

How I met him, well he was a classmate of mine in my French institute. His love for language and reading had let him take particular interest in french and it’s literature. He is a writer by profession and loves reading. The first time I had seen him, I remember he was busy with his kindle. After introduction and helloing we started having interesting conversations. Conversations turned into debates then arguments. We had lot of discussions, which we certainly enjoyed. One day,I told him how I was interested in writing and I wished to enroll on a course. From his experiences he suggested I start writing. “Writing is an art, it is hidden inside, you cannot be taught necessarily”, was what he had told me. I got back home signed up in wordpresss and from there my journey began as a blogger/writer.

What’s your story?

Music for life

They say music is the food for soul. Well I am not a music lover, however my dad’s old collection of ABBA and few bollywood classics have always been my all time favourite.
When I was working, I loved listening to music so I can avoid the distractions. But the best time for me to listen to music is when I run or take a walk. I love running but sometimes, I need motivation and instant energy which would push me to go on.Music helps me achieve that. A soft and slow music/song is ideal when I wish to clear my mind and take a walk around. But bass helps in running.
There are always three stages after a problem/failure. Denial, heart break and finally coping up. It applies in all downfall.At every point of life, we either win or lose. Winning and losing are two sides of a coin. Any happy and lively music of your taste and choice will cheer you when you are happy, even the worst lyrics can sound pleasing. But when is loss, lyrics become your only friend which understands your pain. It almost seems they were written for you, oh wait, these are the words from your head!
I am human too… I have few songs in my playlist which has never been removed and I don’t see them out of my pink ipod. I may grow out of a problem but then fall in another, now this is life. But I don’t grow out of these songs.
When in first stage of denial.

I love heart breaking songs. Well I don’t normally listen to english songs in this phase but of course Bollywood/Indian songs by Lata Mangeshkar are my favourites. She can make me cry with her voice and words.

Second stage: heartbreak

“Everybody has to hold on Hope, It’s the last thing that’s holding me.”
Seriously this song not only gives me the hope its promises in the lyrics but also the motivation to be patient.

Third Stage: coping up

I have earlier written about this song (see my earlier posts), but honestly is there anyone who doesn’t like this song?
“Let it Go”
We can’t carry everything with us. Joy and sadness prevail forever. Don’t glorify your success while melancholy is not going to change what happened.Best is to let go and live in the present.

These are my favourites. Do let me know, what are your favourite songs.Do you like music? Or are you like me? 🙂

Language is an art and only few are gifted.

It recently dawned upon me that may be I am not linguistic. I have been trying my best to learn french but when I speak french, I sound English and when I try writing more than four words in a sentence,it has only has been a nightmare. I tell myself ” Tu ne inquiétes pas”. But everyday in my french class, I have to battle with french words. As much as I love learning the language I feel I am far behind my classmates. I haven’t quite understood, if I am a slow learner or few of my classmates are gifted.

Ironically, my father is quite a linguist who knows around 6 languages, I always hoped maybe it was passed along to me as heredity. If only, it can be passed. Of all the languages why I chose french is a different topic but since I started I want to master it.But I have friends in class who not only speak and write french but they also think. One of my classmate, can argue or start a debate in French. On the other side, I have to think to form a sentence. First in English to understand then conjugate the french verbs  and then I speak it out. This is a hurdle when I have to write or speak. But understanding when others speak, is a whole new level. At the end of the day, I am disappointed with myself.

I have set image on my head that any person who is linguistic is very sociable. Is this true?

I met an old colleague of mine, a shy girl, who goes to office works for 8 hours and has very little conversation with people around. To my surprise, she was an intermediate Spanish student. Upon requests, she would teach and tutor other students. I was taken aback when I heard this. I am not being judgmental but a person who is an introvert, disinterested in most of the affairs at work, she is doing so well in a language. That’s when I thought maybe it is a talent or a gift she posses, she can grasp languages easily.

Since I am struggling so much in my  french class, I am starting to believe may be I am not gifted with this art. Is it true that some people can grasp any language easily. While others like me, have to struggle and learn ? Do you agree?

Should I not expect?

I was asked to follow my stats by my blogging group.So I decided to go back and view my older posts. This surprised me, as the most viewed article of mine was https://whenidecidedtowrite.wordpress.com/2014/11/20/a-question-mark/. This was my first few attempts in writing poetry. I believe, to do something, one has to start somewhere.

In my life I have tasted success only a few times but my attempts of trial have been more. Most off the things I love to do, was not apt at the moment or I was as usual bound by my family and society. I know they say, nothing stands your way when you want something badly but that’s definitely not true. My dreams have always been at one side and my life on another.It has always been either take or give.

But hey it’s me, I am not giving up so soon. I will have them all sometime in the future .Around all these, I have developed a certain lifestyle and behavior. Here, I always wonder if my expectations are high?People say I am one unhappy person. Having your own likes and dislikes is wrong? I wonder if they say this to help me realize that when my expectations are not met, I might be be disappointed. Let me state a small example here. I came across word press and I started writing/blogging. Today I enjoy doing it. But I hope somebody, my blog will be one of the most famous blog about  self help with more than 1000 followers. I am expecting something from my writing, this pushes me to write everyday. Who doesn’t want fame, glory and money?

While researching on this I came across this quote “Blessed is the man who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.”  [Alexander Pope – Letter to Fortescue]

Can one blindly work on something without expecting to gain anything from it? Recently I have been watching Sex and the City series and the character of Carrie Bradshaw interests me. Even though she is strong and independent, she is vulnerable to a lot of outside factors. But like me, she is adamant and strong headed when it comes to choosing her partner. She expects certain qualities in her partner and does not hesitate to wait even though her time is running out.

I believe that if something is meant for me no matter how, it will find it’s way leading to me.And if something wasn’t meant for me no matter how much I run behind it, it will fly away. One can expect but to an extent that it motivates you and bring the positive in you. The moment you become desperate,let down and needy, it’s time to let go.

So yes, I am going to continue expecting, let be my career on writing, blogging, sewing and others. Or it could be as simple as finding the right life partner.I am a smart independent woman with a taste and class, hence it is my right to expect certain qualities and attitude in my life partner. You may call me choosy but honestly I live each day with a hope that one day I will find them all.

An offer I couldn’t refuse

At 6.00 am in the morning, my nexus phone rings. Sleepy and grouchy I pick the phone without checking the caller id. A voice said “Am I speaking to …..” with an accent I barely understood. Frustrated I sat on my bed. Finally, the coffee was spilled and it was making sense. I had received a call from Gucci. Yes “The Gucci”. They offered me an intern position, followed by a job in their handbag designing department based on my performance. Voila … It wasn’t just the dream job they had offered but they also wanted me to move to Italy. Before I could ask anything, they said: Your tickets and your accommodation will be taken care by us, you don’t have to worry. The company offers accommodation to its employees. They requested me to confirm the date, so they could book the tickets on my behalf.

I was offered a place in the company’s staff quarter’s an old palazzo by the country side close to the main office. In addition, I was to be given a stipend during my training period. However if the job was confirmed, I would be able to draw a negotiable salary. They were starting their intern program in about two weeks and wanted my confirmation. Confirmation???? I jumped out of my bed but I could barely feel my legs when I said “Yes, Yes I will!!”

I quickly ran through the to-do list in my head. To pack my luggage, to carry my best clothes and bags… Now this was difficult, I had to decide which bags to carry and which ones to leave behind. After all I am going to work for Gucci, I will be judged on my taste and choice of handbags that I carry. OMG, I was so excited. I wanted to run to the nearest travel agency and confirm the flight to Italy.

I decided to take a step back and catch my breath. I closed my eyes and thought. So they like my passion my urge, they were disappointed that I am not qualified enough for designing handbags for them but then when you have the courage and the passion to achieve something, to make a bold statement, then nothing can stand on your way. They had seen my work online and my application, hence decided to give me a chance. I smiled. Tears flew down my cheeks. Of course I was happy. In fact I was very happy. Haven’t been this happy in years. What more could I ask for. I was interning for Gucci and if they liked my work I could be hired as a full time employee. I was flying to Italy, one of my favorite holiday destination. What more could I ask for?

And then I felt disturbed, something was not right. I was annoyed and irritated. I could feel the tears on my cheeks. I wanted this feeling to go away. Suddenly I laid there with my eyes wide open, that when it struck me it was a dream. I woke from sleep, as my alarm rang. It was another day of my life. The dream was for a few seconds, but it left me happy. That’s when I thought, no matter how our life is, pursuing a dream, wanting something, liking something is necessary. This helps us push boundaries in a quest to find and learn everyday. A hope which helps us live.If hope is lost, the essence of life is lost. It all looked easy in my dream. But that minute, I was certain, this would give me happiness and I do not know if dreams come true but I will live with a hope that someday, sometime they will…

If I had a reset button…

We break our bones, it hurts but of course we can pop a pill and the pain is gone. We have a problem, we solve it or either run away from it and it’s gone. But damn…heart breaks no matter what pill I pop, what drink I have and no matter where I run. It’s the same and it just doesn’t go.

I am sure everyone reading this, has gone through this pain at least once in their life.Sometimes the simplest thing can cause heart aches and heart breaks like moving to another city (leaving behind your loved ones), relationship failure, divorce of your parents, one sided love, rejection in love,work and career or any other failure. We never realize the worth of anything until it has been taken away from us. None of us have liked it but we can’t neglect the fact that these heart breaks have changed us for good, made us a stronger person.Wounds heal but they definitely leave a mark.

I have for a long time now, tried to remove the marks and pray every day that I don’t add any more marks by falling hard again. Thus I have always wondered what if there was a reset button for my heart. That way, I won’t fear falling again and there is no mark to worry about.They say time heals which is true but marks don’t.So if I had to reset my heart, I would press that and start life my way,the following way.

1. I would have grown as an ambitious child,I would be focused from the start and not waste time searching for the right profession(FYI, I still haven’t figured).

2.I would never really get attached to people because I have learned it the hard way. We only meet people to depart.

3. Spend more time with my loved ones, with people who love me than grabbing the attention of people who mean nothing.

4. Don’t fall for anyone until he/she is willing to spend their life with you.It’s best when the other party asks first.Wait… It is not necessary, being first will give you success. Sometimes it’s best to wait.

5. I will not believe in “It’s meant to be” unless tragedy or incident pushes me to. Always exercise my choice.

6. Decide……be strong…. Do not be in two minds.

7.Live the way I always wanted to.. Fearless, no curfews, no manners keep my mind free and liberal.

8.Just be smart all  the time,do listen to your heart but do not neglect your brain!!!

9. I will be truthful to myself and accept myself with all the cons, yet feel proud of who I am.

10.Avoid a situation were I have to return and wish if only I had done it…..

Please do share your views, and let me know what is that one thing you will do if you could reset your heart.