Discovered something about myself.

I am participating in writing 101 this month, however I have been one of those lazy members who is not disciplined and timely with my assignments. It was time for my evening jog after a lazy day at home as I didn’t have much to do. Right before leaving for my jog, I saw my daily prompt from group which said today I had to visit a coffee shop or a park and observe the surrounding and write without using any adverb. Hence I took it as an opportunity as I was anyway about to jog in a park.
The moment I left my house, I started wondering what exactly would I have to write. And how does one avoid adverbs. I live in the south and its always sunny here. And now that summer is beginning we are seeing some hot and warm days .It’s time to pick the brightest and yellowest managoes. Everything is bright and in shades of yellow, even the flowers blooming in the park. I began to ponder how would I use a phrase without an adverb. I looked up at the sky, It was a pleasant day unlike the summer days as it surprisingly had rained leaving behind a breezy and calm weather. The sun was golden and the sky looked pale with clouds covering like some golden dust. When I looked up the first sentence popped on my head was “The sun is shinning brightly in a rustic gold colour and the weather is very pleasant” OMG… I said brightly and very pleasant…grrrr so I tried again removing the adverbs and emphasising on the nouns.
No sooner my mind was filled with thoughts and visuals. I jog here everyday but most of the things go unnoticed, however today I was all ears and eyed every tiny thing I spotted. It had rained this morning hence I have the connoisseur for mud, ironically my iPod played “mitti di khushboo ayeyi” (smell of your land)a current bollywood pop song. With a smile, I ran few meters then realised the weather was too good to be wasted. Hence I walked, enjoying every step.
I noticed kids playing cricket with all enthusiasm and their parents watching them and enjoying. I turned to hear some laughter, it was the regular bing bang ladies, walking and jogging to shed some pounds while discussing their daily chores. A group of old retired men sat on the benches having a gala time, it was as if they were dressed to walk/jog but more time was spent discussing matters and arguing over drinks. One person I never fail to notice everyday, was in his usual, running. Running like a lighting bolt, he is the fastest, I have seen. What surprises me is doesn’t he get tired or thirsty ?
These observations were revolving on my head again and again. I wanted to run home and jot down immediately, I wished I had carried a paper and pen to write below the tree where yellow flowers had fallen. I guess I captured enough to write this today. Do let me know your opinion…:)

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Who influenced me…

I am sure most of you reading this blog are bloggers yourself or you simply enjoy writing. Hold back, think for a second why do you love writing or why did you start writing. Come on! There should be something that should have inspired you or someone who has motivated you. What’s your story?

Let me share mine.

I don’t catch cues in the first time. Everything in my life happens over a period of time. It all started when I was in college and we were asked to choose an elective course. I had my eyes on a media related course with accounting as my backup option(in case media was not available,seats get full). But its what god proposes, at the end which matters. I was late for my selection and hence I was given “journalism” as very few had chosen to study this.

To my suprise, this course brought the writer out of me. I enjoyed capturing my thoughts and story with words and painting them in my style. As a hobby, I had started writing articles on subjective topics occasionally. And slowly it reduced as I did not have an audience. It was 3 years later in my french class I met someone who inspired me to start writing and starting my own blog.:)

The same person has been my inspiration this year. Had I not met him, I wouldn’t have started this blog “cooking life”. And only I know how much I have grown with this blog and with all your opinions.

How I met him, well he was a classmate of mine in my French institute. His love for language and reading had let him take particular interest in french and it’s literature. He is a writer by profession and loves reading. The first time I had seen him, I remember he was busy with his kindle. After introduction and helloing we started having interesting conversations. Conversations turned into debates then arguments. We had lot of discussions, which we certainly enjoyed. One day,I told him how I was interested in writing and I wished to enroll on a course. From his experiences he suggested I start writing. “Writing is an art, it is hidden inside, you cannot be taught necessarily”, was what he had told me. I got back home signed up in wordpresss and from there my journey began as a blogger/writer.

What’s your story?

Lesson learnt from my biggest loss

When people ask me, what I do for living, I stumble and I am terrified. But honestly I don’t have an answer to the question. I was an ex-employ in a software firm, I am a passionate sewer who designs bags, I enjoy writing/blogging , dream of travelling to the ends of the world. But what am I by profession?

I shall not elaborate on this, as I have already blogged on my skills in ” jack of all trade but master of none”. I am not sure, shamefully or proudly but it’s true. And everyday of my life, I have always thought, what if I had to choose one. Wish I could proudly say “I am a ………. by profession”. I am not certain if it’s my belief or if it’s the society I belong, which prioritises profession and rank. Again I am not sure which terrifies me more, what I am or what I am not. Hence this has been my biggest loss in this world, I don’t know what I am…
So I was wondering, if I could use the time capsule and go back in time to change myself and become something, what would I do. Of course we all wish to go back change and become something which we dreamt but ever thought which action had to be rectified to accomplish? Go on think… This will be one of your lessons in life.

I realised that as a person I had been very impulsive and given in easily to family, society, friends and peers out of fear, lack of patience, low confidence in myself and trusting and believing others more than myself.As a result I see this day. Had I stood firm, believed and trusted that I would get what I wished and prayed for then maybe I could have had my chance. What’s done is done, I can’t go back and change. I definitely can learn from my mistake.Henceforth I decide and make up my mind trusting myself and believing in myself more than my parents and friends. Only when you believe in yourself, people trust you and put faith in you else you are a lost man.

Smartness is needed but we have always heard from the stories of our ancestors “hard work always pays”. Work hard to achieve. I would try but when I felt it was too far and I see many running towards it, I would lose interest. This was one of my mistake, after fighting and coming so close I would turn back. But now I will take what is rightfully mine and not leave until I possess it. I gladly say that my loss is my strength today, to walk the roads of tomorrows…

Music for life

They say music is the food for soul. Well I am not a music lover, however my dad’s old collection of ABBA and few bollywood classics have always been my all time favourite.
When I was working, I loved listening to music so I can avoid the distractions. But the best time for me to listen to music is when I run or take a walk. I love running but sometimes, I need motivation and instant energy which would push me to go on.Music helps me achieve that. A soft and slow music/song is ideal when I wish to clear my mind and take a walk around. But bass helps in running.
There are always three stages after a problem/failure. Denial, heart break and finally coping up. It applies in all downfall.At every point of life, we either win or lose. Winning and losing are two sides of a coin. Any happy and lively music of your taste and choice will cheer you when you are happy, even the worst lyrics can sound pleasing. But when is loss, lyrics become your only friend which understands your pain. It almost seems they were written for you, oh wait, these are the words from your head!
I am human too… I have few songs in my playlist which has never been removed and I don’t see them out of my pink ipod. I may grow out of a problem but then fall in another, now this is life. But I don’t grow out of these songs.
When in first stage of denial.

I love heart breaking songs. Well I don’t normally listen to english songs in this phase but of course Bollywood/Indian songs by Lata Mangeshkar are my favourites. She can make me cry with her voice and words.

Second stage: heartbreak

“Everybody has to hold on Hope, It’s the last thing that’s holding me.”
Seriously this song not only gives me the hope its promises in the lyrics but also the motivation to be patient.

Third Stage: coping up

I have earlier written about this song (see my earlier posts), but honestly is there anyone who doesn’t like this song?
“Let it Go”
We can’t carry everything with us. Joy and sadness prevail forever. Don’t glorify your success while melancholy is not going to change what happened.Best is to let go and live in the present.

These are my favourites. Do let me know, what are your favourite songs.Do you like music? Or are you like me? 🙂

Where my frustration was…

I am at this phase of my life where everything is at halt.It’s like I have taken a back seat and I am watching a movie. Irony, I am the one leading the main role. At first it was tough believe me, I think some people would say it’s the beginning stages of depression. I could lose in to depression or I should fight back. Thanks to few of my amazing friends, who stood by me and called to check in on me and spent quality time with me.

Well now that I am thanking few of my friends, I would also like to thank the friends who contributed to this situation. Had they not done, what they did, I would have never found myself. Never understood how to fall and stand again. “Be kind and have courage” from Cinderella, has become my motto in life.Lesson learnt: you may or may not wish to thank your friends but you should thank your enemies because they teach you a lesson for life.

Anyhow I decided to fight back, battle with myself, find myself, accepted the fact and learnt it the hard way.We don’t always get what we want, we should try to be content and make best use with what we have. Besides knowing to swim, I would normally not have the guts to jump in a 10ft pool. But yesterday I found the inner strength to jump in and swim freely. I would like to credit my current phase in life because of which I now know that victory is the next step after courage.

Coming back to fighting my battle, with frustration and the onset of depression. My life is at a halt due to pressure from my family and parents. The independent me was a tough situation for my community and family to accept hence I was asked to quit work and wait at home till I find an eligible groom. My life means more to me and is definitely more than simply finding a groom. The moment I quit work, people sympathised with me and their curiosity which never failed to question me”what do you do full day?”. Words weren’t sufficient to abuse these people. Time when I expected my family to stand by me, they stood with others opposite me, disagreeing with me. That was the day I decided to hate my parents. I continued to hate them, took all my frustration on them, never joined any gathering, never gave family time. I also secluded myself from them, without knowing who was being punished me or them. But my obsession for trying to hate them or annoy them grew so much that I started forgetting my older pains, rejections and my failures.
They are my parents of course they could also forgive me, I may have been wrong but at least I fought my battle and won myself back!